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by  |  18-Jan-2020 12:49

I know people are all "looks don't matter," but they totally do. "I'm just trying to help." Listen, I'm going to share a harsh truth with you here: People know they're fat. "You're just big-boned, man." The bones in my butt and stomach are particularly large, yes.

One of the most difficult things for a fat dude to hear, especially when dating, is that they have a great personality but no other redeeming physical characteristics. When you remind us how "unhealthy" we are, all you're doing is reducing us to our weight and that doesn't feel good. If I haven't suggested I might like to go for a 10-mile hike, telling me how much I'd enjoy it every time I see you is a mistake (and also makes me thing you want to get me alone so you can murder me in the wilderness).7.

And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.” I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.

And yet even when the number of people who are considered overweight form the majority of the population, obesity is in many ways one of the remaining acceptable prejudices.

You wouldn't go up to a larger woman and say, "Hey, big girl," so why is it OK to say it to dudes? "You're a guy, so you'll lose that weight quick if you want to." I've actually lost a lot of weight in the past year by going on a medical fast and eating 800 calories per day, but I'm lucky. I don't know what you're trying to tell me here, but why you gotta let me know I look like a "fatter version"? Plenty of fat dudes do yoga and aerobics and jog a mile (I do it by running from zombies! And the first thing people say when we express our frustration with our weight? And we often don't get that chance because the awesome rainbow cardigan at H&M is a European extra-large, which is like an American extra-small. "Maybe you have thyroid problems." Could be, but those are rare and I've had my thyroid checked.

Many of us are uncomfortable about our size so drawing attention to it — especially in a public place or as a greeting — doesn't make us feel more masculine, it makes us feel embarrassed. Just because it's true that men lose weight faster than women doesn't mean we all drop it by just not eating an entire pie at lunch. No one goes around saying "You look like a small-assed Kim Kardashian" or "You look like Drew Barrymore if she'd gained a little weight." None of us look like those celebrities anyway, so you don't need the qualifier.5. I don't want to go through exactly what my shopping experience is like, but if you've ever seen that episode of where Ross tries to get back into a pair of leather pants, it's just like that. Lots of stuff contributes to being fat other than a thyroid disorder. I am not allergic to leafy vegetables packed with fiber.

In keeping with TBINAA’s theme of fighting body terrorism in search of radical self love and acceptance, we will be looking at the various myths this episode lists, how they’re harmful, and how they are simply not true.

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