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How would I remember the insights and track my progress if I could not write down my experience daily? Day 6: Sixty hours of farts and burps endured, forty more to go. (jerks on the road while driving, that dude who rammed his cart into mine at Costco for no apparent reason, old friends who said unkind words, those who insulted or offended me in even the tiniest of ways or simply didn’t appreciate my presence, like that ‘friend’ who invited to her wedding in Australia well over a decade ago and acted annoyed with me the entire time I was there no matter how hard I tried to please her…that bitch). Two days after my late husband Ben’s fatal accident, I mentally forgave the driver that hit him. Talk about the little things taking over your life. In the bathroom, I mouth to my mirror reflection: I MADE IT! Right beside ‘Bacon is Dead Pig’ reads ‘Eggs come from the pee and poop hole of chickens’.

What if a shot of inspiration came through me during the course and I couldn’t remember what it was by the end of it? And what will my friends think after telling them for months I was doing this meditation retreat, only to quit two days into it? As I continue tuning in to the sensations of my body my hands and feet feel like hot coals, burning from the inside out. Day 7: The farts and burps aren’t bothering me at all. I remember sitting and sending him forgiveness, feeling deep compassion for him and praying he would be able to forgive himself for this tragedy. I was sending this man compassion two days after his actions took away my husband and changed the course of my life forever. During the meditations throughout the day so many people who have showed me kindness and compassion over the years come to mind. Day 10: I consciously sleep through the – am meditation. I have been eager for the day to eat eggs again, straight from the pee and poop hole of a chicken.

Could you try calling it for me to see if it rings? My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear!

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