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Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.
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To dispel the misconceptions, let’s take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface. Simple enough to say, but I know plenty of women will talk about how some guy came off like an insensitive jackass after the relationship fell apart because of his actions post-breakup.
The fact is: If a guy is profoundly obnoxious or terrible after a breakup, it is most often a testament to how rough the breakup was on him. MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Guys Jerry Seinfeld once said that breaking up a relationship needs to be like taking off a Band-aid – One motion: OFF!
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This is a good opportunity to agree on who pays for what? If you are running late ring and give a new ETA Dress appropriately for the occasion. Lightly perfumed or with deodoriser/after shave Guys – open, hold open and close doors for your date (even if she is driving) It shows that you are prepared to go out of your way to be courteous to her Girls - let him, but don’t expect it Either way, be gracious about it; smile or thank him This is not the time to push your liberated female views Some other time...maybe Girls usually precede guys in the theatre, church, movies, to the table at a restaurant and most other places and guys help her to be seated - this is sophisticated dating etiquette Guys on the other hand lead the way through crowds and traffic On sidewalks, guys should walk nearest the street to 'protect’ the girl - you get the idea Compliment each other Neither one of you is perfect, there has to be something to compliment with sincerity Look for it. If you can’t find something to compliment, why are you dating this person? Practice being gracious right to the end Next time start with a cup of coffee first – just to test the water Do not abandon your date at the venue Be close and attentive or it may become your last date with that person Being attentive to your date does not mean totally excluding all others in the group or at the party Be pleasant to your date Talking down to your date or being patronising is not good etiquette Remember your manners.
Guys, be prepared to pay for the date (especially the first one) Subsequent ones can be worked out in due course when you know a bit more about each other Never spring it on her to 'cough up' If you pay, understand that there must be no strings attached Girls, be considerate - offer to pay half OR to buy the drinks or something to show that you are not a freeloader. Then there can be no strings attached and you can maintain your independence But don’t sweat the issue - you could talk about it on the way to the venue so that you are prepared You could offer to cook a meal or bring a picnic basket to the next date if there is the possibility of a follow up date Be prepared ahead of time to have a few topics for light hearted conversation; nothing too controversial No strong opinions please Remember that the objective of a date is generally to assess the potential of coming together to be a couple in a close permanent relationship in so far as permanency goes Never stand up your date Postpone rather than cancel Do not just fail to show up. Say – please, thank you, after you, you’re welcome, etc Acknowledge each others’ courtesies with a smile and/or ‘thank you’ Show a keen interest in your date Make frequent eye contact (do not leer) Use their name – frequently.
The two services used by these individuals were OKCupid and Match.com, two of the largest and most popular dating websites on the Internet.
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.
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