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Clinical studies have been carried out that assessed the intelligence of people after being asked to relive a particularly painful memory.
It seems that the feeling of rejection and the emotional pain it causes is enough to fog rational thinking and actually reduce a person’s IQ, especially when it comes to short-term memory tasks and particularly decision-making.
As The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, one of the critical dating skills I teach is effective Baggage Handling.
That’s right: how you handle your life stories – both internally and with the people you meet –can make the difference between never getting past a first date and finding your heart’s desire.
PBB is when a first or second date shifts into a “deep” conversation after you discover some baggage you have in common. How they were alcoholics, or cheated on you or were bad with money. But comparing and contrasting your craziest, worst or even best meet date is only a losing proposition.
It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Maybe PBB begins when you proudly share your sobriety and start sharing about your history of addiction. None of it creates a positive start to a good relationship. Resist the temptation to “go there.” If you find the conversation moving in one of these negative directions, notice it and divert!
An analysis about online dating published in the journal Evidence Based Medicine suggests that men are drawn to online profiles in which a user name signifies physical fitness, while women prefer user names indicating risk-taking. The joint data analysis, by researchers with Queen Mary University of London and the University of Texas, found that choosing internet dating handles that begin with a letter in the first half of the alphabet is as important as uploading a flattering profile pic or crafting the perfect introductory headline.