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They smoked weed in their parents’ houses with abandon. If they wanted me, I thought, it was because I seemed free like them. Since college I’ve had five boyfriends, and all of them have been white. They’re no longer the object of my affection, a mirror for my self-worth, or an affirmation of my beauty. The night Trump was elected, I wrote about feeling lonely.I wanted to be comforted — but I wanted it to be by someone who had an inkling of the anxiety I felt for my family, my loved ones, and for myself.
Nate had transferred from a beach somewhere in southern California, so I now had an older boy with sun-bleached, shoulder-length hair and dark, tanned skin, sitting next to me. ”Nate draped a languid arm over the back of his chair, “Don’t have it.”“And why not? Neam’s voice went up a full octave.“Don’t need it.”“Exxx-cuse me, young man? “If you hope to survive my class, you will most And that’s when Nate — in an act of rebellion so unheard of, so brazen that it became the unofficial Fairview Junior High motto — said,“WHATEVER.”At that moment, my brain turned to marshmallow and I whispered low and soft, “Nate, will you marry me?
”Well, this whole “I-heart-Nate” crap went on for most of the year.
), unlike Johnny, who would be hounded by screaming fans, I’d have Richie all to myself.
Though now, if I ran into either, I’d just…keep walking. Biceps were unheard of in 8th grade, they simply did not exist …or at least not on anyone besides the gym teacher (that woman was fucking terrifying). Neam, our history teacher, snapped at Nate, “Where’s your textbook?!?
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